The Mummy Tales Season One (the original versions!)

PART 1:

[21:59:35] @ Jakeycakes : mummy, where's dadyy?
[22:00:54] @ Jakeycakes : mummy, what's for breakfast? i'm staved.
[22:01:38] @ Jakeycakes : mummy?
[22:01:48] @ Jakeycakes : MUMMY! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!
[22:02:10] @ Jakeycakes : MUMMY!!
[22:02:27] @ Jakeycakes : WHY, GOD! WHY!!
[22:02:48] @ Jakeycakes : MUMMY!!
[22:03:16] @ Jakeycakes : first daddy, now mummy!
[22:03:26] @ Jakeycakes : WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!
[22:04:08] @ Jakeycakes : mummy!
[22:04:14] @ Jakeycakes : mummy!
[22:04:20] @ Jakeycakes : speak to me mummy!
[22:05:01] @ Jakeycakes : why'd you squirt strawberry syrup all over yourself, mummy?
[22:05:07] @ Jakeycakes : MUMMY!
[22:06:17] @ Jakeycakes : MUMMY!
[22:06:33] @ Jakeycakes : *Tries to grab the phone, but is too short*
[22:07:30] @ Jakeycakes : mummy.
[22:08:12] @ Jakeycakes : daddy! you're home!
[22:08:29] @ Jakeycakes : mummy's sleeping covered in strawberry syrup.
[22:08:47] @ Jakeycakes : ...dead?
[22:08:54] @ Jakeycakes : what's that mean?
[22:09:06] @ Jakeycakes : mummy! no!!
[22:10:02] @ Jakeycakes : mummy...
[22:11:59] @ Jakeycakes : mummy...
[22:12:22] @ Jakeycakes : well, at least you're here, daddy!
[22:12:44] @ Jakeycakes : what do you mean, leaving forever?
[22:13:44] @ Jakeycakes : but... first daddy, then mummy, now daddy!
[22:14:21] @ Jakeycakes : mummy...
[22:14:27] @ Jakeycakes : daddy...
[22:15:11] @ Jakeycakes : mummy... daddy... why?
[22:15:51] @ Jakeycakes : ...foster care?
[22:16:03] @ Jakeycakes : why can't i stay with nana and grampa?
[22:16:55] @ Jakeycakes : they're dead, too?
[22:17:04] @ Jakeycakes : i wish i was dead...
[22:17:32] @ Jakeycakes : daddy, why are you walking towards me with that knife?
[22:17:38] @ Jakeycakes : ARGH!!
[22:17:45] @ Jakeycakes : *Dies*
[22:17:48] @ Jakeycakes : THE END.

PART 2:

[22:35:39] @ Jakeycakes : step-mummy! step-mummy!
[22:35:47] @ Jakeycakes : why are you covered in...
[22:35:50] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[22:35:52] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[22:36:02] @ Jakeycakes : ...red... stuff...
[22:36:05] @ Jakeycakes : ...?
[22:36:34] @ Jakeycakes : and why are you sleeping in the middle of the floor with a knife in your head?
[22:36:47] @ Jakeycakes : step-daddy! step-daddy!
[22:36:53] @ Jakeycakes : look at step-mummy!
[22:37:17] @ Jakeycakes : she's sleeping covered in red stuff with a knife in her head!
[22:37:30] @ Jakeycakes : in the middle of the floor!
[22:37:44] @ Jakeycakes : scraps! stop licking step-mummy!
[22:37:57] @ Jakeycakes : ...dead?
[22:38:11] @ Jakeycakes : why does this always happen to me?
[22:38:16] @ Jakeycakes : why?!?!
[22:38:25] @ Jakeycakes : step-daddy?
[22:38:31] @ Jakeycakes : what do you mean...
[22:38:39] @ Jakeycakes : ...cancer?
[22:38:49] @ Jakeycakes : wait, why are you...
[22:39:00] @ Jakeycakes : why are you squirming on the floor?
[22:39:09] @ Jakeycakes : is it a new dance?
[22:39:15] @ Jakeycakes : a birthday dance?
[22:39:24] @ Jakeycakes : 'cuz it's my birthday.
[22:39:46] @ Jakeycakes : wait, step-daddy!
[22:39:56] @ Jakeycakes : watch out for the knife!
[22:40:08] @ Jakeycakes : why, step-daddy?
[22:40:18] @ Jakeycakes : scraps... stop licking step-mummy!
[22:40:49] @ Jakeycakes : ARGH!! SCRAPS!! THAT'S MY CROTCH!
[22:40:58] @ Jakeycakes : *Bleeds out*
[22:41:02] @ Jakeycakes : THE END.

PART 3:

[13:19:25] @ Jakeycakes : new step-mummy!
[13:19:31] @ Jakeycakes : New step-mummy!
[13:19:43] @ Jakeycakes : why are you just lying there covered in...
[13:19:45] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[13:19:48] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[13:19:50] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[13:19:53] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[13:19:55] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[13:19:58] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[13:20:06] @ Jakeycakes : strawberry syrup?
[13:20:26] @ Jakeycakes : and how come there's a sausage roll coming out of your chest?
[13:20:36] @ Jakeycakes : new step-daddy!
[13:20:41] @ Jakeycakes : new step-daddy!
[13:20:52] @ Jakeycakes : new step-mummy's sleeping!
[13:21:04] @ Jakeycakes : ...dead?
[13:21:10] @ Jakeycakes : again?
[13:21:19] @ Jakeycakes : why does this keep happening to me?!?!
[13:21:27] @ Jakeycakes : new step-daddy...
[13:21:30] @ Jakeycakes : SCRAPS!
[13:21:41] @ Jakeycakes : get away from new step-mummy!
[13:21:52] @ Jakeycakes : new step-daddy!
[13:21:54] @ Jakeycakes : no!
[13:22:07] @ Jakeycakes : why'd you hit scraps with that knife?
[13:22:15] @ Jakeycakes : ...dead?
[13:22:28] @ Jakeycakes : new step-daddy?
[13:22:41] @ Jakeycakes : why are you hitting yourself with that knife?
[13:22:46] @ Jakeycakes : doesn't that hurt?
[13:23:04] @ Jakeycakes : ...wake up!
[13:23:24] @ Jakeycakes : ooh, maybe he does it because it feels good...
[13:23:30] @ Jakeycakes : *Stabs self*
[13:23:32] @ Jakeycakes : *Dies*
[13:23:40] @ Jakeycakes : THE END.

PART 4:

[21:00:37] @ Jakeycakes : mummy!
[21:00:48] @ Jakeycakes : um, i mean, orphanage mummy!
[21:01:01] @ Jakeycakes : why are you lying on the floor like that?
[21:01:05] @ Jakeycakes : naked...
[21:01:11] @ Jakeycakes : and...
[21:01:16] @ Jakeycakes : covered in...
[21:01:19] @ Jakeycakes : ...
[21:01:25] @ Jakeycakes : strawberry syrup?
[21:01:44] @ Jakeycakes : with...
[21:01:55] @ Jakeycakes : sausage coming out of your stomach?
[21:01:59] @ Jakeycakes : and...
[21:02:13] @ Jakeycakes : a knife...
[21:02:18] @ Jakeycakes : in your butt?
[21:02:28] @ Jakeycakes : TALK TO ME, NUB!
[21:02:35] @ Jakeycakes : wait...
[21:02:43] @ Jakeycakes : oh, no...
[21:02:50] @ Jakeycakes : she left the oven on!
[21:02:59] @ Jakeycakes : dont worry orphanage mummy!
[21:03:07] @ Jakeycakes : ill fix it!
[21:03:20] @ Jakeycakes : just gotta climb this box and get on the stove...
[21:03:27] @ Jakeycakes : and...
[21:03:31] @ Jakeycakes : ARGH!!!
[21:03:36] @ Jakeycakes : IT BURNS!!
[21:03:41] @ Jakeycakes : *Burns to death*
[21:03:45] @ Jakeycakes : THE END.

PART 5:

[23:24:29] @ Jakeycakes : auntie mummy!
[23:24:34] @ Jakeycakes : auntie mummy!
[23:24:46] @ Jakeycakes : why are you lying on the floor?
[23:25:05] @ Jakeycakes : and why'd you spell cherry kool-aid all over yourself?
[23:25:15] @ Jakeycakes : you made it too strong!
[23:25:28] @ Jakeycakes : when it's that strong it hurts my tongue.
[23:25:41] @ Jakeycakes : and why is there milk in your crotch?
[23:25:54] @ Jakeycakes : and why are there peas in your crotch?
[23:26:14] @ Jakeycakes : in the milk, i mean?
[23:26:26] @ Jakeycakes : you know peas give me indogestion!
[23:26:36] @ Jakeycakes : oh, you need cpr!
[23:26:45] @ Jakeycakes : don't worry!
[23:26:51] @ Jakeycakes : i saw this on tv!
[23:27:05] @ Jakeycakes : but i should wash my hands first!
[23:27:22] @ Jakeycakes : *Climbs onto sink*
[23:27:30] @ Jakeycakes : *Turns on hot water*
[23:27:39] @ Jakeycakes : *Boils alive*
[23:27:54] @ Jakeycakes : *Dies*
[23:27:57] @ Jakeycakes : THE END.

PART 6:

[16:40:36] @ Jakeycakes : foster mummy!
[16:40:41] @ Jakeycakes : foster mummy!
[16:40:50] @ Jakeycakes : why are you on the floor?
[16:41:02] @ Jakeycakes : and why are you covered in ketchup?
[16:41:11] @ Jakeycakes : have you been dieting?
[16:41:19] @ Jakeycakes : oh, nice kitty!
[16:41:27] @ Jakeycakes : i just want to pet you!
[16:41:32] @ Jakeycakes : ARGH!
[16:41:39] @ Jakeycakes : THOSE ARE MY EYES!
[16:41:44] @ Jakeycakes : ARGH!
[16:41:51] @ Jakeycakes : *Runs into the wall*
[16:42:02] @ Jakeycakes : *Knife falls on head*
[16:42:06] @ Jakeycakes : *Dies*
[16:42:09] @ Jakeycakes : THE END.

You're amazing stories combined with Gear's skills on paint would make some nice cartoons.