FRONT PAGE NEWS: What's the Deal with Svart?

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What's The Deal With Svart?
“I’m not a Musical Genius. Well, maybe I am.”

Svart inside his Georgia home, pretending to play guitar for the camera.

Joey Cosentino has had it all. He is one of the guitarists, as well as a vocalist in the band Runtime Error, and one of the primary songwriters for the band. However, he hasn’t always had good times in the band. Cosentino, more commonly referred to as “Svart,” was the Webmaster on the online community where the band got its roots. He was personally to blame for adminning Brandon “Jinzo” Lehman, Jake “Jake”Adjutant, and Eifion “Gear” Lewis, his fellow companions in Runtime Error, and therefore planted the seeds that would later become the best selling act in world history.

After the Multi-Platinum success of Runtime Error's Stevo Fisher, this band settled down to record one more album before the start of their summer tour, which was declared in the beginning of this week. However, conflict arose when the band thought they should use LSD for the new album. However, Svart had different ideas.

"You see, any song we had thought of writing, and even the ideas that we threw out originally, we had already used in all the previous albums. We ran out of inspiration, so we turned to hallucinogens. However, I really wanted to use Marijuana instead of LSD, but the band wouldn't hear of it. Something about the price of Marijuana being too high or something, so I decided to leave. With the help of some of my friends from Georgia, I produced my own Solo Project." The group featured Svart on Lead Guitar and Vocals, his friend Pierce Brosnan on drums, Bob Halford on bass and backing vocals, and his friend since high school, Dolly Dolly on keyboards.
The album, lulz, is quite the collaboration, featuring 5 songs, 4 of which exceed 8 minutes in length. Svart stated "One of my main influences is Dream Theater, so I thought I'd attempt to create something as epic as most of their songs."

The 5th song, a cover of Earth, Wind, and Fire's "September,” the hit track of the album, featuring low pitched, white vocals, and heavy bass, and changed lyrics that seem very light hearted, but when played in reverse are actually a random garble of curse words. However, his ex-band members misinterpreted the lyrics to be Svart regretting his actions, and begging to return to the band.

Runtime Error had already released their first album that didn’t include the original four members, Greatiest Album Evar, which was selling well, despite the lack of Svart.

“Svart always helped us write more light hearted songs, and songs that had more modern appeal. Somehow our latest album sold well, even without mainstream appeal. However, his lyrics always ended up being some metaphor for political situations, so we got less hate-mail with this album,” says Jinzo, who says the band turned to the help of producers to really enhance the quality of their songs on this album, the first time they’ve ever turned to professional help for anything.

“Svart sent us a copy of his solo album before the disks hit the shelves,” remembers Jake. “We really liked the album. I had no idea Svart could shred like that, dude! The three of us decided to invite him back to the band, even though him leaving was all his own choice. But we really didn’t want him to become a Tony.”

“Our summer tour started in Texas, and Svart still hadn’t returned to the band,” recalls Gear, “so we had to invite Zack Travis to replace Svart, but he ended up hogging the spotlight, and started inventing new riffs to replace the original ones. I really missed how Svart played the riffs over and over again while standing beside the amps, not really noticed by the crowd, without ever complaining about how boring his part was. That’s what I really liked about Svart.”

Svart accepted the offer, after his bandmates in the solo project weirded him out.

“I was invited to jam with Halford at his house, but when I walked in, pictures of me hung on all the walls, and some of my childhood possessions ended up in his home. It was frightening. I found him staring at me all the time.”

Halford was interviewed during the solo project months about what it was like to work with Svart.

“I was in the same band as the legend Cosentino. The first time his flesh touched mine was when I was making us some Cinnamon Rolls for the jam session, and he grabbed my arm when I was about to touch the hot pan with my bare hands. I started in a cold sweat and I couldn’t think. It was absolutely amazing. My arm was touched by the man that wrote half of the greatest songs of the greatest band, Runtime Error. I tried to find ways to keep him in my house. I locked the doors, tried to hurt him so he would have to stay, anything to keep him there. I mean, this was Joey F’n Cosention. JOEY F’N COSENTINO.”

Not long after, the solo project was called off, and Svart returned to his former band. Svart says it was the best thing he ever did.

“I was received by the band like a hero.” Svart returned to the band two days after the first summer tour date, after the band cancelled all acts until Svart returned. Svart said they celebrated in the best way they knew how, by eating ice cream. Then, they returned to the stage.

“I decided that the best way to make him feel welcome back to the band was to let him take one of my solos, and take it he did.” Eifion stepped back and let Svart do the shredding for the first song. “He did an Eruption style intro to our first hit ‘Big Car Blues’ and the crowd just went wild. Somehow, they’ve learned to sing along to our impossible songs. It induced a feeling I hadn’t felt for a long time, like I wanted to renounce my religion again. He looked like Doug Aldrich up there on stage. It was amazing.”

The band, now back together and happier than ever, is continuing with their summer tour, and they are currently traveling Indonesia.

“It turns out 20% of our album sales are from Indonesia. We figured they deserved some lovin’ from our musical grooves.” Jinzo also mentioned that more people are interested in seeing them live since the Svart fiasco occured, and with Jake’s recent appearance on TMZ, seen allegedly stalking David Cook. Which ever way you look at it, Runtime Error is continuing with their success, and don’t show any sign of stopping.


The cover art of Svart's solo project lulz

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