Cowbell Hero

Subject: Cowbell Hero Tue Dec 25, 2007 4:44 pm

You are a dairy farmer who doesn't make much money. You tend to your cattle days on end whilst enoying the tuneful accompaniment of bands such as Humble Pie and Metallica. One day, Roger Taylor buys some milk from you and accuses you of not rocking very hard. This upsets you, and so you take to the streets, cowbell in hand, to teach the world a lesson in rock!

1. Pasteurized Plinking
On the roof of a pub.
"Mr. Blue Sky" - Electric Light Orchestra
"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - The Rolling Stones
"Electioneering" - Radiohead
"Helter Skelter" - The Beatles
The occupants of the pub to see what the ruckus is about, and mosh in approval of your cowbell skills.
"My Sharona" - The Knack (Encore)

You wake up at your house on the dairy farm to a bunch of fans who want your autograph. You play to them so that they'll leave, 'cos they're frightening the cattle.

2. Cowbell Cool
A high stage on the dairy farm.
"Hair of the Dog" - Nazareth
"Hell's Bells" - AC/DC
"Fool For The City" - Foghat
"Roxanne" - The Police
Albert Bouchard appears, and thinks you're trying to bring cowbell to the mainstream, even though HE did it 30 years ago. He teaches you a lesson!
Cowbell Battle vs. Albert Bouchard (Original Composition)
A bunch of reapers appear and try to reap the fans!
"(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Öyster Cult (Encore played with Albert Bouchard)

Your cowbell scares the reapers off! But the groupies steal your clothes, and you're arrested for indecent exposure! Your fans flood the courtroom and rebel during the trial!

3. Clapperless Court
A Courtroom.
"Little Red Corvette" - Prince
"We're Not Gonna Take It" - Twisted Sister
"Houses of the Holy" - Led Zeppelin
"Sweet Emotion" - Aerosmith
The jury reckons you aren't guilty! Party!
"Rio" – Duran Duran (Encore)

You have Albert Bouchard look after your dairy farm, and go to Japan in hope of being the first ever cowbell solo artist to get a record deal!

4. Made In... Japan? Cowbell!
A Big Japanese Restaurant
"Bad Medicine" - Bon Jovi
"Foolin'" - Def Leppard
"Dr. Feelgood" - Mötley Crüe
"Is This Love" - Whitesnake
Scott Rockenfield objects to all the Glam Metal!
Cowbell Battle vs. Scott Rockenfield (Original Composition)
The waiter rebels and runs across all the tables giving the horns.
"Silent Lucidity" - Queensrÿche (Encore played with Scott Rockenfield)

You get an offer to play at some charity event, but you can't be bothered, so you play at the Grammy awards with a supporting orchestra, just because you can.

5. C.C., Pick Up That Cowbell And Talk To Me!
At the Grammys
"Rocky Mountain Way" - Joe Walsh
"All Right Now" - Free
"Fire" - Jimi Hendrix
"Spoonman" - Soundgarden
You lose to Jethro Tull! Lame!
"Can I Play With Madness" - Iron Maiden (Encore)

You go back to the dairy farm to find that Albert Bouchard has accidentally transformed it into a booming futuristic metropolis. Oops! You go in and ask to see the emperor, and they let you, on the condition that you play a gig at the opening of the new super stadium! Oh dear!

6. Single-Note Shredding
Opening a Super Stadium
"Hotel California" - Eagles
"Pay To Cum" - Bad Brains
"Nightrain" - Guns N' Roses
"South of Heaven" - Slayer

The crowd falls silent as the emperor walks towards you. You're godsmacked at his true identity... !

JULIAN CLARY!!!

He challenges you to a cowbell duel, and if you win, you get your dairy farm back in its original state!

Cowbell Battle vs. Julian Clary ("In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" - Neil Peart & Roger Taylor) (Inspired by Iron Butterfly)

Julian Clary snaps in half, and your dairy farm is back. Except, the cows now all have mullets and extremely good tastes in music. Rock on!

"Bohemian Rhapsody" - Neil Peart, Roger Taylor, Scott Rockenfield, & Albert Bouchard (Inspired by Queen) (Final Encore)

THE WIG!