Urgent RE article

disclaimer This article is a satire of today's events. please don't take it seriously disclaimer

RUNTIME ERROR AT ALL TIME LOW
A horrific day, in review.
by Ferdinand Ferdinand

Limerick, ME - In today's society, where music is ruled by poseur bands and guitar hero, few bands stand out above the rest. Where musicians like Kanye West, Mary J. Blige, and Fall Out Boy rule the music world, few classic rock bands still remain, and those that do rarely get the attention they deserve. This may be the explanation for the massive media stunt Runtime Error members made on this Christmas Eve.

Former Runtime Error guitarist Eifion Lewis released a statement in which he said Jake was an "incoherent goon" with "no musical skill or knowledge lulz." Also in the report, he said that Antony Lusmore of Shredd and his Shredders was "super cool" and "knew more than Jake." Lusmore has been interviewed since, to which he said, "Thanks, Eifion".

Jake, upon hearing the news decided to "lay low in [his] Limerick apartment" and "try to not commit suicide" (source: RuntimeError.org). However, stars are known for blowing things out of proportion. A 911 call from a woman in neighboring aparment room was recorded at 5:13 PM, in which the woman was in a state of panic. Here is the recording of the call:

Dispatcher: "Hello?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm hearing things from the other room, could you come check it out please?"
Dispatcher: "What kind of things?"
Woman: "Oh, random obsenities, followed by 'F%&# This, I'll kill myself tomorrow!'"

Upon looking at the blog on RuntimeError.org, Jake Adjutant was threatening to kill himself. Runtime Error fanboys and poseurs alike joined together outside his apartment complex, trying to coax him out of it. Reportedly, he decided to not kill himself, after he wrote out a will on Word document, and the computer crashed.

This giant stunt comes after the announcement of the new line up, consisiting of new member Jessica, a female guitarist. Eifion, interviewed later in the day, said the whole thing arose after an argument he and Jake had about 90s Skid Row songs. Eifion, said the anger got to his head, and he apologizes for what happened today.

Jake says that he would be content if we gave their albums better reviews. Sorry, we're too liberal for that.

-Rolling Stone

Freaking Epic

i did it for the lulz

Edit: for what it's worth, i don't like 90s skid row THAT much sound like megadeth rip off wooh

I don't give a crap what Rolling Stone say

as long as i'm makin' good music with cool people, like myself, i'm good