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 Pollution is Really Really Funny review:

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PostSubject: Pollution is Really Really Funny review:   Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:39 pm

Words by Jefe Steinbrener, pictures by Dolphus Raymond:

My thoughts on Pollution is Really Really Funny '08:

So, this year we had a few surprises. First, The Taylor Maddox Band was there, selling their newest album, Alpha Gemini, and playing an awesxome set (which I'll go into more detail on later). But the biggest surprise had to be the reunitation of Runtime Error. Jake Adjutant, Eifion Lewis, Brandon Lehman, Cactus and every guitarist Scorpions have ever had played an amazing set, which was Eifion's first with RE in three whole months, and Jake, Brandon and Cactus's first in two months. Also, Jake was selling copies of his two latest solo albums, mummy! a strange man is touching my balls! please help me! ... okay, this is kind of nice! nevermind! i actually like it! it's very good once you get used to it! The Official Soundtrack of the Movie for and Complete and Utter BOLLOCKS, plus a few of the more obscure Runtime Error albums, like Let the Music Take You Home, A Retrospect, Cancerous Tumor, Too Much Runtime on My Hands, +1, Uncle Boo's Cabin, and Fappin' Around the Christmas Tree. Alex and the Hartbreakers rounded out the set, with some great tunes.



The Taylor Maddox Band's set was pretty awesome. They played a lot of classics, such as "I Am a Member of the Rebel Alliance", "Can't Ride a Bike", "I Like it When the Red Water Comes Out", and "The Best Nirvana Song for Guitar Hero Would Be School, As Opposed to Smells Like Teen Spirit, Which Most People Believe Would Be the Best Choice, Despite the Fact That the Guitar Part is Not Very Intricate and is Founded on a Riff Which Bears a Striking Resemblance to the Riff of a Song Which Has Been in a Previous Guitar Hero Game", plus some of their newer material, like "Highway Star" (which featured Jake coming out for the extended guitar solo), "Wicker Man Blues", "Bruce Dickinson Has a Great Vocal Range, as Opposed to Paul Di’Anno, Though Contrary to Want Many People Think, Di’Anno-era Maiden Was Better Than Dickinson-era Maiden Music-wise, and Killers is Better Than Any Dickinson Maiden Album", "Memoirs of Your Mom" and "Naked and Hungry". Disappointingly absent was the song off Wicker Man Blues, "Audioslave Sucks", but, then again, badass '90s Chris Cornell died of brain cancer recently, so it couldn't be played. Still a shame. They ended on the classic track, "Grandma Time", extended to twenty minutes through Kelvin Grant's extensive use of random scales and riffs, culminating in the end of My Sharona, an idea he got from Jake Adjutant.



Runtime Error were next, playing material from their entire discography. Jake had a massive cold, so he wasn't quite at the top of his game, but that didn't stop him from wailing like a banshee (or Ian Gillan) on tracks such as "Fuzzy Face", "Wingman in Rouge", and "Personal-Business Letter". They even got James Earl Jones to come out to do vocals on "Mr. Lamp Post"! Very epic. They also played one song from Jake's solo album, Auburn Vendetta, "I've Gone". The entire band really loved the tune, and Eifion felt like shredding all over one of Jake's songs and using loads of effects to prove his superiority. It kind of turned into a guitar duel between Jake and Eifi at 6:15, when Jake got angry that Eifion was stealing his spotlight. This lead to several hurt feelings and wedgies. And after this, the guitarists from Scorpions all got explosive diarrhoea, and passed out, not playing any other songs. They also played the current Runtime Error line-up's hit single, "Hold the Line", which, fo course, featured changed lyrics by Jake. The new lyrics are at the bottom of the article. Other played tracks included "Sitting on the Boat", "Eifion's Suicide Attempt", "I Crapped Myself, And To Make Matters Worse It Was Diarrhoea That Proceeded To Run Down My Leg", "Strangle the Cowboy", "Fairytale of That Crap I Just Did", "Money Money, Give It To Me Orphan", "Shit-Covered Shit with a Side Order of Shit with a Piece of Shit on Top", "We Like to Gather", "Gathering is Cool", "Hand Me That Wrench, Please", "King of the Bathtub" and, of course, their super-shreddy cover of Nirvana's '80s hit, "About a Girl". The last song was supposed to be "The Last Days of Our Lives", but they couldn't leave without playing an encore, so they whipped out the stand-by, "Sea Men Rock". The giant jam ended up lasting almost eight hours, and featured Kelvin Grant on a third guitar, and Taylor Maddox on harmony vocals and acoustic guitars.



Alex and the Hartbreakers were last, and had to follow up RE's epic "Sea Men Rock". They essentially just scrambled up 1,000 Piece Jigsaw Puzzle of Doom's track listing and played it, but it worked. First, they played "New TV...", which was a suiting opener, being the closer of the album. Highlights included "This Bag is Full of Shit", "Rumble in the Jungle of Wal-Mart" and "World War II Was Funny". They finished their set with the track "The Pain of Existing", extended to an hour-and-a-half. All the members of the previous bands came out, and were cramped on-stage, wailing away on their instruments until they all collapsed from fatigue. All in all, an epic performance. After they left, there was a huge riot over the leavature of the bands. Gay.

The entire show will be released on DVD on December 26th, 2008. Get with the money you get from retuning all the gay shit your parents get you for Hannukah.



When asked about a possible full-time reunion, the members all responded "I'd love to", but Eifion added "... but I have a giant secret project I'm working on. Perhaps after it's finished. I really enjoyed playing with Brandon and Cactus again, but I think if we have a full-on reunion, Jake should go back to just doing vocals. No offense to his guitar playing, but I've always seen him as an amazing frontman".

Jake's new lyrics for "Hold the Line":
It's not in the way that you *bleep* me, its not in the way you say you can
It's not in the way you've been treating my "friend" *wink*
It's not in the way that you stayed 'till the end
It's not in the way you look or the things that you lick when you do

Hold the line
Love isn't always on time
Woah, woah, woah
Hold the line
Shit's not always on time
Woah, woah, woah

It's not in the words that you told me, girl
It's not in the way you say you're mine, oooooooooooooh
It's not in the way that you came down on me
It's not in the way that your love's set me free
It's not in the way you look or the things that you *bleep* when you do

Hold the line
Love isn't always on time
Woah, woah, woah
Hold the line
Shit's not always on time
Woah, woah, woah

*solo*

It's not in the words that you told me
It's not in the way you say you're mine, oooooooooooooh
It's not in the way that you came hard on me
It's not in the way that your love's set me free
It's not in the way you look or the things that you have a steaming erection for when you do

Hold the line
Love isn't always on time
Woah, woah, woah
Hold the line
Shit's not always on time
Woah, woah, woah

Hold the line, love isn't always on time -
Love isn't always, love isn't always on time
Hold the line, shit's not always on time, shit's not always on time
Shit's not always, shit's not always on time, shit's not always on time
Shit's never always, shit's never will always be, shit will never be
Shit's never always, shit's not always, shit's never on time
Shit never will be because shit is such a *censor* ass kong
Woah, woah, wooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh


Personally, I loved the show. It was great playing with Brandon again, and Eifion, too, I guess.
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