So, I saw Jake Adjutant live the other night. It was pretty epic. He didn't play "Helpful Dairy", though. This is most likely because of the instrument switching, or maybe he just couldn't be arsed to play it. Either way, it was an excellent show. Loads more covers than I'd expected, but with only two solo albums under his belt, covers are perfectly acceptable.
Today I picked up his two new albums,
livin' in a world without spandex and
BEAN DIP. They're both excellent albums, especially
liawws, which was originally supposed to be two thirteen-track albums, but switched to one fifteen-track album at the last minute, because some songs were "out-of-date" with Jake's current feelings. He said that we may see them later, with a few tweaks and edits, but he swiftly told us not to get our hopes up (the track with the best possibility of returning is the other album,
Living of the Sake of Living, 's bonus track). Maybe he'll go the Nirvana route, and release a giant boxset after he dies, ala
With the Lights Out. Either way, it's not use complaining.
I've listened to both albums thoroughly, and I'll do a song-by-song diagnostic of the damage, starting with
livin' in a world without spandex.
01: "About a Girl" (Cobain, Adjutant) 6:52 [originally supposed to be on
Living for the Sake of Living]
This song is essentially the same as the Runtime Error version, but with some sweet Cactus bass licks replacing Brandon Lehman's. These licks are far better, though I must say if the original RE line-up rerecorded this, it would be just as good as, if not better than, this. Jake extended each of the guitar solos by thirty seconds, and eliminated the drumming. When asked about the latter decision, Jake commented, "we didn't have a drummer, and there's only so much I can do with four cymbals. Sure, some of the build-up of the second verse is lost from the RE version, but I think the extra minute of solos more than makes up for it".
02: "Fruitful Living" (Adjutant, Lehman) 10:57 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
This was supposed to be the first track on the original draft, and I can see why. Jake's sweeping licks and Cactus's subtle bass groove suck you into this song and don't let you go for almost eleven minutes. At about 6:42, Jake unleashes a barrage of Glam Metal soloage, which doesn't end until 9:32, where Cactus pulls out a giant bass solo, that lasts until the end of the song. I'm pretty sure this was intended to be a Runtime Error track, but the band disbanded before it was put into fruition.
03: "Things" (Adjutant) 8:07 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
"Things" is a song about, what else, things. Jake lists all the types of things in record time to a sound barrage similar to Abnormalty's "Visions", but without the Death Metal vocals. More of a Delp-like tone is emitted here, confusing the listener. You'll have to listen to this track many times to get it. I know I did. Cactus is seemingly absent from the song, until he lets out a hearty laugh near the end towards Jake's physical exaustion.
04: "Hacking Private Toilets" (Adjutant, Brevick) 15:18 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
This song is very, very odd. It shatters the expectations of the last two songs, both very heavy, rockin' tunes, with a very soft keyboard opening, with whispery vocals. But in true Adjutant fashion, it erupts into a heavy, heavy Rock song, complete with "Won't Get Fooled Again"-style "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" (there was also one of these in Runtime Error's "Sea Men Rock"). The rest of the song is akward-to-play slides and scales, with true Adjutant flair. The lyrics recall a song off Jake's previous album,
i recorded this by myself, called "Chair" (which, if you haven't heard, you should really pick it up).
05: "Pissing Endlessly" (Adjutant) 20:18 [originally supposed to be on
Living for the Sake of Living]
... wow. Just, wow. He actually managed to make a song about pissing GOOD. It kind of reminds me of Stone Sour, for some reason. Maybe it's all the balls-out screaming on the word "endlessly", combined with the sheer Metal tone on the riffs. Either way, it's an awesome song, with a noticable bass groove. Unlike most bands, Adjutant turns up the bass amp so you can, uh, actually hear it. Yeah, I went there.
06: "Big Livin'" (Adjutant, Lehman, Cactus) 18:07 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
Cactus's first ever song-writing credit! Wooh! This song really shows how Cactus can get a simple point across in eighteen minutes. This song seems to be a straight-foward rocker, but it, like most Nirvana songs, has a hidden meaning. It's really about Cactus's struggles with heroin and how he pulled through for his friends, family and fans. It's really touching, and is further extentuated by Jake's scratchy vocal performance. Think
Chinese Democracy-era Axl Rose combined with Brad Delp, and you've almost got it. It's really touching.
07: "Super-Fancy" (Adjutant, Cactus, Dave) 20:17 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
Finally! Dave helps write a song for Jake! If this were the sonly song on the album, I'd still buy it. It's that good. Though, I'd say that about any of the tracks. Anyway, this track is about, what else, wearing a suit for no apparent reason other than the fact that "he thought it would be funny". Being fancy sure isn't a crime, no siree. The riffs are delectable, and played by Dave himself ( Jake was relegated to rhythm guitar). Dave's presence on guitar adds a sixteenth dimension of this track, and really helps get the point across.
08: "Livin' in a Zoo" (Adjutant) 4:56 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
... this song is obviously filler. I heard a demo of "Lovin' it All" off the same pre-album (not on this album), and it was much better. I guess the love thing conflicts with his current views? Ah, well. This song has a cool riff, anyway, and it's genuinely wacky. Not much more to say really. It's okay.
09: "Under His Hairpiece" (Adjutant) 18:57 [originally supposed to be on
Living for the Sake of Living]
... woah! This is groovy as shit! I wonder what Jake was on when he wrote this delectable piece of music! I want some! This is just brilliant. I mean, the way the wah is on overdrive at all times adds a layer of awesome to an otherwise slightly-less-awesome song. I can't even imagine. *shudder*
10: "Much Whimsy" (Adjutant, Lewis) 0:18 [originally supposed to be on
Living for the Sake of Living]
Eighteen seconds of badass. If I tried to explain this song any further, my brain would implode.
11: "Trapped Inside of It" (Adjutant, Lewis) 0:08 [originally supposed to be on
Living for the Sake of Living]
... yeah, I can't explain this one, either. Listen to it for yourself.
12: "Shimmying onto My Life." (Adjutant, Lehman) 16:48 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
This song is just weird. In a good way, though. Cactus's startling bass groove proves that he could release an album on his own right, but with Jake's hectic riffs and frantic vocals, this song takes on a whole new level. The song, on the surface, is about a guy who loves this girl, but the girl doesn't acknowledge his existance. He then takes matters into his own hands and climbs into her bedroom window to woo her, and it actually works.
13: "Dying in a Vat of Piss" (Adjutant) 16:14 [originally supposed to be on
Living for the Sake of Living]
Another great song about piss?! IMPOSSIBLE. Jake defies expectations with this song, and firmly cements my belief that modern bands suck. This is *censor* Rock 'n' Roll, not that Emo shit they force on us. Hooky riffs, impossible solos, groovy bass parts... this has it all. This is the finest song about piss I have ever heard. End of discussion.
14: "Living in a World without Spandex" (Adjutant) 19:57 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
This apparently was suppoed to be the second-to-last non-bonus track on
liawws, before "Shimmying onto My Life.", but it's way better served here. An epic closer to an otherwise very-epic-but-not-quite-as-epic album, "Living in a World without Spandex" cements Jake's place within the pantheon of Rock 'n' Roll Gods. Words cannot describe how awesome this song is. BUY THE ALBUM NAO.
Bonus track: "Squeaking Simulation" (Adjutant, Brevick, Lehman, Dave, Cactus) 58:27 [originally supposed to be on
livin' in a world without spandex]
Well... it's a Jake Adjutant bonus track, so it's obviously insanely awesome and whatnot, so I won't bore you with that. Always being just shy of an hour long, the bonus tracks are the best songs on each album, and "Squeaking Simulation" is no exception. Think "Helpful Dairy" turned to elev-... oh, wait, that was already at eleven. Damn. Just listen to the song, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
And that concludes my review of Jake Adjutant's
livin' in a world without spandex. Next, I'll review
BEAN DIP.
01: "The Line is Busy" (Adjutant) 4:55
This song is about how Jake can never seem to call anyone he wants to call, ever. It's a standard Glam Metal ballad, with acoustic guitars throughout the song, and a cool solo. Not much to say here.
02: "Weighing the Man Every Day" (Adjutant) 3:02
Only three minutes? This isn't like Jake. This song is great, but it's not like Jake to do normal-length songs. Is he planning to release singles?! Oh, God, I hope not. I don't want music retards raping his songs and never listening to the bonus tracks. But, anyway, this song has some cool flamenco-style shit going on, so it's cool, I guess.
03: "Bacon All the Time" (Adjutant) 0:14
... ! THIS is Jake's original form! Yay! This song is just epic. I can't describe it better than that, lest my brain implode.
04: "Murders of You" (Adjutant) 6:17
This song is odd. Obviously pertaining to certain events of his life, this song starts off as a ballad and escalates into a giant angry song full of hatred and loathing (that was redundant). No Glam Metal soloing in this one, but a worthy song for the album.
05: "Midnight/Long Time" (Adjutant, Bach, Scholz) 10:01
Ah-ha! The token cover! Well, it's two covers rolled into one. By talking about "the prowl of love" and then that he "should be going", he really confuses the listener, if they hadn't heard the originals. Listen to Boston's "Foreplay/Long Time" and Skid Row's "Midnight/Tornado" before listening to this song.
06: "Dancin' on Books" (Adjutant) 2:46
WHAT IS HAPPENING?! A THREE-MINUTE SONG?! JAKE HAS SOLD OUT. THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. RUN FOR COVER. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Oh, the song's okay. It's about dancing or something. It has a cool cybal-crash section, so it kind of redeems it's length.
07: "Jesus in a Bottle" (Adjutant) 16:57
A-ha! This is where the Jake we all know and love went! All of his pent up anger is released in this awesome ballad about Jesus. Christians will be offended, obviously. I mean, really. It's not so much Glam Metal as it is... Alternative. Odd.
08: "Tape Dispenser Blues" (Adjutant) 21:12
Okay, I'll be honest. I thought this song would suck. But it didn't! Jake can write and play Blues! Yay! I couldn't decribe it for a million bucks, though. It's an experience, man.
09: "ffff" (Adjutant) 32:58
... um. What the hell was that?! Thirty-three minutes and I still don't get it ;-; I need therapy ;-; I think I just got raped ;-;
10: "Spiral Staircase" (Adjutant) 47:43
This song is about a spiral staircase Jake was afraid of as a child. It was so tall, and he was so small. He always thought he'd fall off, and the feeling of fear is instilled in the listener, making this an instant classic. I was literally bawling my eyes out during this song. I was frightened. It didn't help that the guitar tone was creepy as hell, either.
11: "Bring it Home" (Adjutant) 8:56
The final track of the album. Everything that was previously stated about this album is false. Jake has not sold out. He has written a song that made me feel. "Bring it Home" is an epic song of epic proportions. Comparing it to "Freebird" is a dis-service. This is the epitome of music. I've said waaaaaay too much already. listen to it, gots
Bonus track: "Messy Desk Groove" (Adjutant) 1440:00
Holy shit. An entire day of music. Twenty-four hours, all recorded live. The song starts off entergetic, and keeps going strong until about the 1430:00 mark, where Jake collapses and falls asleep, leaving Cactus to play the greatest bass solo of his life, with Jake snoring in the background. Greatest song ever. Greatest album ever. Greatest artist ever. Greatest genre ever. Greatest thing ever. Buy it. Now. NOW. NOW. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! BUY IT.