ODDESSY:My Most Epic Day Ever

Alright mates, this is a long story, Its entirely true and I hope you enjoy it....

Me and a friend are forming a band, and I met up with him and the other guitarist at a local coffee shop, we sat in the back room discussing things for a couple of hours without buying anything (This is irrelevant to the story, but it was quite nice!) so me and my friend, Jay, decide to go to my house and watch youtube videos, particularly this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96OljGZapv4 (skip to about 3:17 and watch his chase seen) so we go to mcdonalds, and after much deliberation on the menu we politely walk up to the counter, the casheer coyly greets us, "Hello, What can I get for you?" she spouts, but deep inside, she knew what I wanted...."ID LIKE A CHEESEBURGER AND SOME *censor* CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!" I barked as I slammed my fists onto the counter, "WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP!!!" Jay ejaculated as we ran for the car!....got the 'ell out of there...it was dusk, a warm mist had just settled over the local park, it was time for driveby insults, the usual was expected "TENNIS, IS, FOR, FAGGGGGS" or "HEY IMA SHOVE THAT BIKE UP YOUR ASS!" or "IM GONNA SUCK YOUR COCK!!!"....but behold, a bastion of light, an ocean of catastophe, a plethora of low self esteem, a birthday party, this would be a fine hour indeed for the Harry/Jay funkmobile express, we crept slowly by, "IM GONNA ASSRAPE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, ONE BY ONE!!!" Spattered Jay! as normal we left the park, we got about halfway down the road at a stop sign, when this blazing flash of torn trailer trash skids beside my vehicle and I hear, in the worst southern accent ive ever heard "THE *bleep* DID YOU YELL MUTHERFUCKER!!!" I slammed the gas, it was a quick turn, my guitar fell over, just then jay recieved a phone call "DUDE! we were at the park when you yelled its Blane, whats up dude?" to which Jay replied "Theres some cockass with his thong in a twist chasin us down....", we jetted down the road as fast as a 94 camry with broken cupholders can go, we were at another stop sign, so douchebag mcgee one and optimus cockface pull right in front of us at a 4 way intersection and get out of the car, me, believing in peace and non violence decide to roll down my window and clear up the misunderstanding, but this man had another thing in mind, he grabbed me by the shirt and cackled "WHAT THE *bleep* ARE YOU YELLING AT BITCH" normally, I would have tried to calm him down, but this was my Iron Maiden shirt, "CALM THE *bleep* DOWN BUDDY, I WASNT YELLING AT YOU!" I retorted, just then a man in a truck pulled up, now imagine this, a mid 20s man screeching to a halt in an intersection and holding a sixteen year-old rockin roller by the shirt, thats *censor* up!, he said "Is there a problem here?" to which cockass replied "no...", then cockass and douchey mcgee got in their car, laughed and drove off, I was hoping they would have punched me, Jay is a very small, protective person, but he can also squat 300, I am an average sized peron who has never lifted a weight....that keeps a railroad spike in his back pocket!....WHAT A BUNCH OF BOLLOCKS THAT WAS.....

^ this is long, but epic, rolling stone gave it a 4/5 stars for being a dose of balls to the wall adreniline packed *bleep*-biscuit, It is rumored Tim Burton will be directing a film adapting starring Johnny Depp entitled "Under a green Moon"

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...its narrated by Russell Brand

*bleep* THE PO-LICEEE!

you gotta fight for